Cue the doleful music.
I’ve been busy writing synopses.

This synopsathon began with an agent request for a full manuscript and synopsis. Of course, I’d never query a book without previously having written a synopsis, so this should have been no problem, right?

Wrong. One glance at said synopsis, and I was hit by revision fever. Before I knew it I was rewriting the whole thing.

And that was fine. The new and improved version is, well, new and improved.

Unfortunately, the next task on my writing agenda was another synopsis, this one for a novela contest entry.

I’ll interject here with an explanation for non-writers, but don’t worry, I’ll make it short and sweet (kind of like a <insert the s-word here>).

Writing a synopsis sucks. Okay, that was a little too short (and not very sweet either). Here’s why writing a synopsis sucks: It requires a writer to distill her 90,000 word book into, oh, say, five pages. Or less. That’s a bit like saying, “Tell me your life story. You’ve got five minutes. Start now.”

That’s why I’m employing a sneaky psychological technique called “avoidance” and writing this blog post instead of finishing the #$%&@ second synopsis.

It would be nice to think this brief descent into synopsis hell will benefit my writing career. Certainly, I’ve read many articles on how to write one.

Does this mean I can give you advice on how to write a brilliant synopsis? Of course not! (Did you not just read the above post? Why would you even want advice from me on this subject? Are you crazy?)

But these people can.

Jane Friedman – Great tips and links to more: http://tinyurl.com/pn2tpzs Caro Clarke – Breaks the process into stages: http://www.caroclarke.com/synopsis.html Shannon Donnelly – “Writers in the Storm” blog gives a checklist: http://tinyurl.com/l6gsgt2
Therese Walsh – Quick overview: http://tinyurl.com/yclbf6p
DMatriccino – Writer’s Digest guide: http://tinyurl.com/73j469m
Some examples from Writer’s Digest: http://tinyurl.com/7qohm4z

Feel free to leave a comment about how you hate synopses too. If you love them, I don’t want to know.