What now?

Not a Rant, Not a Rave, Not Even a Cancer Lesson — This Is a Cancer Question.

Today I had my yearly checkup with my OB/GYN, which means it was about this time in 2011 that  my whole cancer trip began. I thought it might even be the same date, so I asked Dr. K to check my records. He told me it was a year ago yesterday.

So, here’s the question. If it supposedly takes a year to get your life back after cancer, when does that year begin?

Was yesterday my “anniversary?”
Or March 18, when I was diagnosed?
Maybe April 27, the day of my surgery?
Or the end of August, after chemo ended?

It’s probably the last, I think. Truthfully, though, I know that innocent belief in my own infallibility will never return.

Cancer is now a part of my history. That makes it a part of my future, whether or not it ever recurs. It will always exist as another possible side trip. And I am responsible for catching it if it does.

Still, life shouldn’t be defined by a disease. Though this experience will always be a part of my past, it is not the whole of me. And while it’s true I look forward to having a choice in the length of my hair, and to not being so tired after a long day, I am also grateful just to be here.

Living after cancer — it’s a whole new journey.

Crocuses in Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park

Image via Wikipedia


This photo is from Tower Hamlets Cemetary Park in one of the worst neighborhoods in London.

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson 


About kymlucas

"Taking care not to take love too seriously." Writer of smart, fresh, contemporary romance and women's fiction. Blogging about writing, reading, and more recently, dealing with the ins and outs of breast cancer.
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6 Responses to What now?

  1. Bernie Ockuly says:

    Congratulations ! I think it is whatever you want it to be. Personally, I have kept track of the good days since I had the surgery. Today is # 2,278…. not that I’m keeping count !!! :p)


  2. kymlucas says:

    Wow, Bernie, I’m not sure I’ll be keeping that close of track, but, you’re right. Every day is a good one. 🙂


  3. comrade says:

    Whatever date you want it to be. 🙂

    I’m new to this, but I was diagnosed on May 5th and I acknowledge that date, but I had a tiny celebration on January 11, the date of my stem cell transplant (my last treatment). The January date is the one I tell people (doctors included) when they want to know how long it’s been.


  4. kymlucas says:

    Sounds like fun!


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